• Faith,  Life,  Parenting

    Kingdom Work

    Kingdom work is wiping noses and blowing kisses and whispering to my kids Jesus loves them as they fall fast asleep. Kingdom work is kindness to a stranger and encouragement for a co-worker.  Kingdom work is sitting with a friend in the darkest of circumstances and offering nothing but my time and presence and silent prayers.  Kingdom work is self-sacrificial and laying down my own ideals for whatever God is calling me to.  Kingdom work is not irksome or proud or haughty but proclaims boldly with love that Jesus is the way, the truth and the life.  Kingdom work is the smallest of the small and the little decisions that…

  • Church,  Faith,  Life,  My Story

    My Story- Part 9

    There we were. We had learned that church and ministry didn’t have to be ugly. That leaders in the church could be kind. So, with this in mind, even though they had a smoke machine, we joined a small church launch called Discover Life Church in 2014, also known as DLC. I could sum it up nicely- say the past 7.5 years have been awesome (they have), that God has done amazing things (He has), but for me, the process to see myself as a church leader, a pastor even, has been one marked by a lot of changes, a lot of ups and downs, and many difficulties. There was…

  • Church,  Faith,  My Story

    My Story- Part 8

    The Lord is always on time. As my story, now our story, continues, I can now look back and see God’s hand all over it. Preparing me, shaping me, running me through the many necessary processes to grow me into a place where I can truly see myself, and others, in a light that reflects the Father’s intent. I think I was always keen to see some others. Although I would never say it out loud, there were worthy and unworthy, when it really came down to it. And now, of course the problem of evil still exists and I would give pause to those who seem overcome with it,…

  • Church,  My Story

    My Story- Part 7

    (I felt like churchy clipart was apropos for this post) We are all in process. Our process in the early years of marriage I will call ”just trying to figure it out.” I still had so much religion in me, I just knew that I was failing in many ways. But gosh darn it (because if you say the other word you go you know where) I was going to try to do the whole church thing! And Andy was so new in faith I think he needed to believe that this whole community of faith thing wasn’t a complete sham. There had to be some folks in it for…

  • Church,  Faith,  My Story

    Andy’s side of the church story

    We met. I am not going to get into all of the mushy details, but we started talking at a perfect time. A month earlier, or a month later, and I think things would have probably been completely different. When we met, she was my light. In a life of darkness, that, to sum it up contained an abusive upbringing, drug use, homelessness, heart stopping (3 times), guns in my face, and ended with a stab wound in my stomach, eviction, and sleeping in a gas station bathroom, she was my light.  As we began to talk, I had questions about God, because, how could someone so intelligent believe in…

  • Church,  Faith,  My Story

    My Story- Part 6

    This part of my story was a transition. It is also the time in my life that is most exciting because I met and married the man I call my husband (and he’s the best!). God definitely used him as a catalyst, which is evident in my side of our story. As I came out of my fog, or probably partially while I was still in it, I tried to relate to God in ways that made sense to me. I rejected the angry God of my youth, I didn’t think it could possibly be all about “rules” and what you don’t do. And I was right there. I couldn’t…

  • Faith,  Life,  Theology,  Uncategorized

    Fill up

    I am writing today, not to continue my story, to delve fully in to my deconstruction process will take time I just do not have today. I will definitely be continuing next week. However, today I just wanted to pop in with a gentle reminder to all of you out there who follow Jesus. To be overflowing we have to fill up with something. Let me reiterate that one more time, to overflow we have to fill up first. What does this mean, you may ask? I am asking myself the same question. But I felt the Holy Spirit whisper something to me this morning. “I will redeem the time.”…

  • Faith,  Life,  My Story

    My Story- Part 5

    *There is nothing graphic or specific in the following post, but please do not read if you are an abuse survivor and triggered easily* For anyone just joining in on my story, I start here. If you have been reading along with me for the last few weeks, thank you for being here. I did not know that some of this needed to be written, but as I wrote today’s the tears flowed, because the heaviness of what I have been delivered from was tangible to me. I pray that if you are in the same place, needing a burden lifted, this story gives you hope that Jesus can and…

  • Life

    40 Christmases

    I am going to take a break from the “My Story” posts for the Christmas season. They will be back next year. But, before I hit an official pause to celebrate this time and really take time to ruminate over all that Christ has done in my life and all that it means that he came to earth, I thought I would make a list, reminiscing over my past but also celebrating the present, on my 40 favorite things about Christmas. Seeing as how this will be my 40th! Some will be meaningful, others just for fun. I love studying the meaning of numbers from scripture, and it was amazing…

  • Church,  Faith,  My Story

    My Story- Part 4

    I quickly learned that having a family drama very easily parlayed into having an excuse. Where I had strived to be the “good girl,” even co-hosting advertised “alcohol free” parties and inviting friends to church, I suddenly didn’t care. Maybe I would feel better if I drank, maybe life would be easier if I didn’t have to try so hard. Maybe, after all, I didn’t really care what my parents thought. I slowly started making decisions that I would not have made before. Friends that I kept at arm’s length I suddenly made better acquaintance with. In my mind, I had every reason to drink, to party, to try to…