Every week or so (yes! it’s that often) I feel like I hit a wall. I have to take a step back, mentally check myself, go through all my to do lists and remind myself what’s really important and what’s not. Today I was having one of those days. I worked hard yesterday. I cooked a lot of food. And my kids were particularly, how do I say it? Off the chain. Sorry, there’s not another way to describe it without using potentially offensive language.
So, I come home from school drop off and think about simply curling up in a ball on the couch. Then I decide no, I am going to make some breakfast, get into my devotion time. And before you know it I am reading John 4:34. Jesus has just shared the gospel with the woman at the well. He tells the disciples he’s not hungry. They are confused, because they walked far and the NLT version even begins the chapter by saying JESUS WAS WEARY (vs. 6)! And then he says:
…my nourishment comes from doing the will of God, who sent me, and from finishing his work.
Whoa Jesus! YES! This is how it’s meant to be. And I realize, I need to refocus. It’s so easy for us to get off course and think about ourselves isn’t it? The truth is He has called me for others, because he loves us all so much. I took a moment to rest in him (some prayer, some worship music, and now I am PUMPED!). It’s not always easy but it is a testament to all that I KNOW JESUS HAS DONE FOR ME.
I have had an overwhelming sense these past few days that I need to begin to share my family’s story more. As I read this about doing the will of God I was challenged to share that here. These are the seeds of the gospel that I have to give away. My husband comes from a past riddled with abuse and addiction. His family endured some really hard times, and he lost both his sister and his mother as a young adult. I was a church kid. No huge issues until my worldview was challenged as a teenager and I used that as an opportunity to rebel. This rebellion lead to situations in which I was abused, scared, lost and more than a little far from God. I had a constant need to be liked and have fun. If I felt like I didn’t have these at any moment I fought depression. I looked in the mirror and would talk to myself, often. “This isn’t you, Andrea.” I would audibly say that. But nothing changed. I didn’t know how to. Then one day, after I had experienced two tangible realizations of God’s presence in my life, I woke up. I knew following God was my only hope. It wasn’t easy, there were a lot of mistakes, and I had (and have) a lot of pruning to do. But God has used these past several years to show Andy and I both that he has a call and purpose for our lives. It’s way different than anything we could have ever imagined. But it’s also beautiful and makes me so thankful for the way He works. Reminds me of Acts 17:28…
For in Him we live and move and have our being.
We are where we are and who we are today BY THE GRACE OF GOD!
So today I started off weary, but now I am just thankful, and preparing to be able to share more of my story. It’s amazing what asking Jesus with a little help for your weary soul can do.